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The Dear Ex-Friend Project

Need to reach out and touch that ex-friend one last time? Just to say "good bye"? Or "how dare you"? 

Get you ready-to-print Dear Ex-Friend Cards.….  Scroll down to link to the 40 card set, including 10 cards for Busy Parents of Busy Babies.

   

 

"So I went ahead without asking for her help or permission, or whatever. I borrowed one of her do-it-yourself business card sheets, and got to work making 2 by 3 and a halfers I could hand to the faux punk the next time I saw her. Because I knew, sooner or later, I would. It's a small town."

< > Click on these links to download your ready-to-print set of cards (Microsoft Word format). Don't forget to put your Avery™ Clean Edge Business Card (55871) product in your printer first!

Printing Instructions

The Ex-Friend Forum


I stood at Queen & Bathurst and handed out the one about the band. To just anyone. Couple of guys said sorry.   -   Rob
 
Janette   -   Yeah. I love Toronto.

I just got one of these. What gives?   -   Colleen
 
Janette   -   Uh ... I dunno. Do you deserve one? Did you screw someone over? Maybe you should visit my "How To Apologize" site, coming soon.

You sound bitter, Janette. What gives?    -   Jen

Hello there Janette, my old ex-friend.    -   Mike M.

Like a trail of corpses...and guillotine like precision.   -   Daria
 
Janette   -   Ow! Or like a papercut on the tip of your tongue. Try handing one over to an ex-friend!

Please add an sheet of "dear stranger" cards! I need one for the people who let their dogs "go" on my sidewalk. I could run out, hand them an appropriate card, and run away again!    -   Farsina
 
Janette   -   Dear Farsina, Great idea! How about "Dear Stranger, please leave me your home address, so that I can nip over to your front yard the next time I have to go to the bathroom. I will have a friend with me, who will stare blankly in the opposite direction while I poop. Don't bother to supply plastic bags: we'll leave an empty one on the grass."

Thank you for the "Fanstasy Apology" you offered to go with the Dear Ex-Friend card I got at the Kiss Machine launch. I know people were laughing hysterically, but I really felt as though I were getting the apology that bastard never gave me. I hope he really did punch himself in the nuts until he passed out. I don't seem to have to go to therapy as much, now. Funny.   -   Mike
 
Janette   -   You have given me a great idea. My next Project will be "The Apology You Never Got", followed closely by "The Apology You Never Gave". (Of course.) Check this Projects page for new cards.

Where can I get your book?   -   Tania
 
Janette   -   Dear Tania, I don't have a book. Just stories in various journals and mags. Should they ever become collected between two covers, I'll let you know.

You sound bitter, Janette. What gives?   -   Jen
 
Janette   -   Bitter? No more than anyone else, I think. And I write. But Jen -- it's art. Aaaaarght. My mother is alive (Some of this is True), my grandfather was not hit in the chest with an axe (Louis Louis), my father is dead (The Weather), I never got hit by a car (Ladies, It's All About Me), Jesus did not baptise me, (My Baptism), etc., etc. Hi, art. It's like Santa. Or god. Not real. But true. Best, Janette

I love your cards. They make me laugh and weep at the same time. I have a project called The Forgiveness Project, but sometimes it doesn't work. Then your cards come in handy   -   Sandra Alland

You are awesome and I will miss you very much. Thank goodness for Cooked & Eaten... and this wonderful website. Btw, your writing inspires me   -   sonia
 
Janette   -   I looked through your cards, I'll be printing some off tomorrow. There's some people that deserve them. I hope they get a clear picture in their head that they aren't perfect!

These are brilliant...fabulous. Someone very, very dear to me will enjoy reading these cards...and then create his own   -   Alison

Hello there Janette, my old ex-friend   -   Mike M

I thought I was the only one who thought my farts were interesting. These cards always make me laugh after being pissed off. Next time I will smile and instead of imagining pushing the ex friend off a 1000 foot bridge I'll just hand them one of these cards. Expression, PRICELESS!   -   Sharuska
 
Janette   -   Thanks, Sharu--- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

Not an ex-friend, a lost friend perhaps? Delighted to see just even your name. Please remember me xo   -   Sandra Lewis

Did you write the book "Pee-Pee(with a Hyphen)" yet???   -   Joe(your ex-friend)

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